As subject matter experts, The ZOE Project provides consultations, workshops, and advising in a variety of capacities. These include research study consultations, HR training, community education workshops, medical professionals training, and healthy relationships workshops.
Leaning into empathic opportunities when patients reveal abuse.
Learning to recognize healthy versus unhealthy behaviors in intimate relationships.
Understanding the impact of IPV/abuse on employees and how companies can help.
Avoiding stereotypes, myths, and automatic biases in DV/IPV research.
Please contact us for further information if you are interested in our educational/training opportunities.
What is intimate partner violence?
Does your partner ever….
Insult, demean or embarrass you with put-downs?
Control what you do, who you talk to, or where you go?
Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Push you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?
Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
Control the money in the relationship? Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
Make all of the decisions without your input or consideration of your needs?
Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away your children?
Prevent you from working or attending school?
Act like the abuse is no big deal, deny the abuse or tell you it’s your own fault?
Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
Attempt to force you to drop criminal charges?
Threaten to commit suicide, or threaten to kill you?
If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions, you may be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Scroll down for "What now?" information. The National Domestic Violence Hotline also has further information you can read about what abuse looks like compared to a healthy relationship:
Is this abuse?
If you are not in imminent danger but you would like to get help, you can start developing a safety plan. Click here for personal safety planning and click here for tips on how others can help you safety plan.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline also provides confidential, anonymous assistance to survivors who are thinking about leaving or just want to speak to an advocate. You can call them at 1-800-799-7233 or talk to them via chat at https://www.thehotline.org (click "Chat Now").
You can also reach out to your local domestic violence services for support. Every state has a domestic violence coalition with information about services in your town or county. For WA State individuals, you can find that information here.
Domesticshelters.org also has a national (U.S.) search feature for finding nearby help, including emergency shelters.
The ZOE Project is not a crisis response resource.
If you feel you are in imminent danger, and you feel it is safe for you to do so, then we encourage you to call 911.
If you need urgent access to basic human needs resources, emergency shelter, housing, mental health care, income support, and/or child support, call 211 for help and referrals.
If you feel you are in mental distress and are thinking about self-harm or suicidal, call The National Suicide Hotline to talk to someone who can help you at 1-800-273-8255 or chat with a counselor through their live message feature.
There are small steps you can take to begin protecting yourself from your abuser's behavior. Safety planning is one way to help yourself or someone you know who is in an abusive relationship. We also have some quick tips available on this page to help you get started.
Finding support from other survivors is also helpful, if it's safe for you to do this. Here are some online resources we recommend where you can read others' stories and get further insight from people who are, or have been, in your shoes:
It is not your fault.
There is nothing you have done or are doing to cause the abuse. It is solely the choice of the abuser to abuse.
There are people out there who want to help and who will believe you.
You know your abuser and you know yourself - Make decisions that feel right for you and the situation you are in. If others are pressuring or judging you, ask them to read the advice on this page.